Today is the first full day of Spring. The sunshine coming in my window today reassured me that yesterday’s snowfall on the actual vernal equinox was just Winter’s last gasp and the crocus peeking out of the snow tell me I really can depend on Spring. Spring brings with it all kinds of wonderful blessings, warmer weather, tulips in my hometown, new life and new hope.
I am trying very hard to cling to this new hope today as I reflect on the ten month anniversary of my husband’s passing from this world into the next. I have hope that he is free from anxiety and pain, free from worry and care, free to bask in the love of God with reckless abandon, without fear of judgement, criticism, deadlines, or disharmony.
I want all of these things for him and more. I tried to show him a world of these things in our short time here on earth together. I showed him a world where he was never judged for his opinions, a world where he need not worry over a roof over his head or food on the table, a world where he need not worry about speaking his mind, a world where he was loved unconditionally in a way he had never known before.
He taught me things too. He taught me that love continues to take chances no matter how old we are or how hurt we have been. He taught me that unconditional love asks nothing in return and that lovers respect the wishes and dreams of each other. He taught me that when someone loses a spouse they may lose a part of themselves but they are still alive. He continued to live his life and when practicality advised him to limit his horizons he threw caution to the wind and opened up his horizons wider than he ever dreamed.
On this first day of Spring I make a promise to my beloved; I will not live in fear, I will not limit my life, I will be open to all that God has in store for me, I will love you forever and finally I will risk it all and love again when love comes my way.
You are my Brave Knight, Donald K. Baxter, I pray that you are dancing in Heaven.by