Memories can be soothing reminders of happier times or painful yanks on our torn and tattered hearts. As the anniversary of Don’s death approaches so also come flooding back many of the happy memories of the days and events leading up to his death. It was a beautiful springtime and we were looking for a new home, a home off campus, our first real home, it was a happy time and a stressful time too. We wanted someplace big enough that my sons could come and visit if they wanted to and we wanted a little space outside for Don to putter as he would have said. He loved to plant perennial flowers and would watch them come back year after year.
We had found the perfect place. It was a three bedroom flat with an eat in kitchen a dining room a laundry room and a large pantry. It had a large yard that we could plant things in and a two car garage to cover our cars in the snow. It was all on the first floor and the lovely couple that owned the home lived upstairs. It wasn’t polished or modern by anyone’s standards but the owners were willing to allow us to rip out a couple old carpets a replace a few light fixtures and do some painting and we could have made it our own. It was in the location we wanted and well within the budget we wanted and we were thrilled with it. We had worried about finding a home all throughout the springtime and now we had found it.
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? 28 And why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?’ 32 For it is the Gentiles who strive for all these things; and indeed your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.34 “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
It was never meant to be however. Don had a heavenly home waiting for him that I was not aware of and God’s timing is perfect no matter what we happen to think of it. Don’s life was complete and mine was not. We had spent the entire springtime looking for the perfect place and Don died the day after we signed the lease on the perfect apartment. He was so healthy looking the day before he died that the real estate agent, when he saw Don’s running shoes, told Don he could use the track at the High School right next to the apartment after we moved in to go running and Don just laughed and said he mostly walked these days. The agent had thought Don was about fifteen years younger than his real age.
Don had a complete physical just five weeks before his death and no one could have predicted that an abdominal aortic aneurysm was lurking inside him waiting to kill him. Don and I never lived in the future we always lived in the present and made the most of every moment but planned on a lifetime together. Never sacrifice the here and now for some far off tomorrow for tomorrow may never come, live in the present moment, yes planning for the future, but always living in the present, it is the gift you have been given to live in now, live in it!by