Mar 30

Did You Smile Today?

It is nearing bedtime in my house; time for relaxation, reflection on the day, and maybe a few thoughts on this modern phenomenon called “selfies.” I can hear many of you groaning already. I was recently told that because I am connected to many people via the internet and because I post pictures of myself that I am a vain person. You can form your own personal opinion from whatever information you may know about me but I will respond with the reason I take pictures of myself and post them for my friends to see.

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder more than twenty years ago. I will require treatment for it for the rest of my life. I have been hospitalized for it in the past and there are no guarantees that I will not be hospitalized for it in the future.My depression has been classified as treatment resistant and if you are familiar with depression at all you know that “treatment resistant” doesn’t even scratch the surface of describing the challenges I face. I do not say any of this to elicit your sympathy in any way but as a means of explaining where I am coming from. My depression has been nearly fatal more than once in my life. I pray to God that it never brings me to that dark of a place again.

Having a mental illness requires living a very intentional life. Everything I do requires planning and preparation. I am determined to experience all that this life has to offer me and to do that I must be careful not to allow negativity into my days. For this reason I do not own a television, this requires me to seek out news of local, national, and world events to stay informed. I don’t know the names of many of the celebrities featured on the newsstand magazines and I am not familiar with the latest and greatest mousetrap being advertised on the screen. I read online newspapers, real magazines such as The Atlantic, The Economist, Readers Digest, and Health. I don’t think my way of living is better than anyone else’s but it is what works for me.

Why did I ask if you smiled today? The reason I asked you that is the reason I take selfies and post them on my facebook page; it is because there are many days when that smile I put on my face for the camera is the only time I smile that day. I am a widow who lives alone, there can be many days when I see no one but if my smile on Facebook means that someone else smiles back at me by clicking like on my picture then I smile in return. If you want to call this vanity I won’t attempt to change your opinion, but if my smile has ever made you smile then I have accomplished what I wished to.

Blessings and Goodnight

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4 comments

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    • Cecil, Fellow Servant on March 30, 2017 at 9:23 am
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    Christine,

    Your blog made me smile.

    I have come through seven years of ‘trials’ to my self-identity and understanding. Questioning my salvation or any experience in God relationship, and even now wish to ‘scrub’ everything I have ever been thought, taught, learned or believed.

    I am in the ‘Prime’ of my life (whatever that means). I have over 20 years of personal education and training to become the best person I thought I could become. I have many years experience in teaching as lovingly as I know how the disciplines of our faith in both the business and religious world. I have over 15 years in the corporate business world and 16 years as a pastor. Many around me are confused to think I have some ‘wisdom’ for life, success and Godliness; but I know me!

    I am presently working on a number of projects and one of them is with an organization which I think you can be of assistance and receive support. I am learning how to enjoy the journey and prize every day as I search for those ‘divine moments’ with God. What I used to take for granted as a younger man, I now know them to be precious and essential to ‘life.’

    I f you wish to have a longer conversation, please let me know.

    I will be celebrating my 40th anniversary this year. I have three grown, mature godly children and four precious grandchildren who call me “DanGaddy.” Life is good for me today. I have learned to enjoy the journey that nothing lasts in this world. So I take one day at a time and sometimes I can only handle moment to moment.

    You are in my prayers,
    Fellow Servant

    1. Yes I would be interested in a longer conversation with you. My email is public christinejbaxter@gmail.com
      Blessings
      Christine

  1. You’ve done amazingly well, given your travails. “Smile, though your heart is aching…”

    1. Thanks Roger

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